The Farting Position
Ease your gastro-intestinal pressure the natural way: Farting!
Several years ago while I was playing baseball in High School I was about to start a game and I had some really bad gas pain. It hurt so bad that I actually was risking missing my start. Being a catcher, crounched through 2.5 hours of baseball with that kind of pain is no fun at all. As I sat in various stretching and warm up positions, I found myself laying in the “situp” position you see in this photo – frustrated at my painful perdicament.
As I sat there, I felt some . . .well, let’s just say . . . movement that indicated that my intestinal distress was about to be relieved. And sure enough, after about 5 minutes of laying there in what I was now calling the “farting position” (and after constant ridicule, derision and color commentary by my teammates) nature took its course and I was able to take the field.
Now – many, many, many . . . many years later I still use the farting position regularly when needed. I also have convinced my kids and my wife of the potential for both good and evil this tool can weild.
So the next time you feel the pinch of pain that tells you that “somethin’s a knockin’ at the back door” – try the farting position for a few mintues. The key is to be on your back with your knees elevated and your hands behind your head to stretch out your torso/abdomen. Be patient with the position. Remember that you’re trying to accelerate something that takes some time to happen naturally.
I’m sharing this with the world as an attempt at true gastro-intestinal altruism. Take it for what’s its worth; but try it sometime. Go ahead post a comment with your own farting position story. I’m sure everything will come out fine in the end!